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Mushtaq 1977-2005

I don’t know what to do with a death of a friend. I don’t think I have ever had to sort something like this out. I don’t have anything useful to think. It’s even hard to say you’ll miss someone when you haven’t seen them in years, when you have probably had as few actual conversations as we had. But it doesn’t change the fact that he was like family. It’s all the more difficult to sort out something like this because you don’t actually feel entitled to mourn – you feel like you’d have to appreciate a person’s company more to be entitled to mourn them.

He always seemed so bright, upbeat and lively. He always seemed a positive person.

I don’t even know how to pay my respects. I can’t imagine how Ishaq, Nisa, Bedah and their mother feel. His cousins as well – they seemed more like brothers than anything. I really have no ideas what he was up to, what he was doing with his life.

I’m glad Carol told me, but I wish I had heard something sooner.

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